+ LIBIDO MISMATCH

Ideally, sex is a shared experience, desired equally by both partners. Real life is often more complicated —sex therapy can help!

Sexual desire is a nebulous construct that changes minute to minute and day to day. In an ideal partnership, each partner desires the other at exactly the same time, and with the same frequency, and sex proceeds easily and without stress. In real life, partners are not synchronized robots, and each will have their individual “sex drive” affected by physical, emotional, and situational factors. When normal fluctuations in desire become chronic low libido, both partners are often very distressed. One partner worries about how or when to initiate sex and feels rejected; the other worries about how to avoid sex, feels guilty after declining, and/or views sex as a chore. Prolonged desire mismatch can deepen into feelings of rejection, guilt, entitlement, shame, and/or low self esteem.

Sex usually means different things to each partner. Through specific home exercises and talk therapy, Dr. Modjoros can identify all the components that are contributing to the desire mismatch, and which are the most important to address to resolve the stress. Sex therapy gives each partner the space to feel all their emotions, be authentic and true to themselves, and communicate more effectively with their partner.

+ PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

Performance anxiety is extremely common, but it’s not always about the erection. There is a continuum of anxiety that a man or woman may experience as sex starts. He may worry about maintaining an erection long “enough” or she may worry about giving him sex so he will stay faithful. She may worry about her ability to please him with his particular interests, and he may worry that he won’t be able to give her an orgasm. This added stress reduces the pleasure potential of the moment for both partners. Sex therapy helps to clarify misunderstandings about the meaning of sex for each partner, and guides to individual or couple toward stressfree sex.

+ ERECTION / AROUSAL ISSUES

Do you have trouble getting “turned on”? Or staying aroused? Many people struggle to experience full arousal and/or keep high arousal throughout a sexual experience. Usually this is related to the thought patterns of anxiety and worry, but it can also be a sign of medical or hormonal issues. Whether the anxiety and difficulty focusing is the cause or the effect of the erection or arousal issues, Dr. Modjoros can help.

+ ORGASM / EJACULATION ISSUES

In the media, sex seems so easy and simple. In reality, people often experience challenges with their most intimate moments, including orgasm. Some people have trouble reaching orgasm, either by themselves or with a partner. This can lead to distress within a relationship, as well as reduced libido and even resentments. Sex therapy is an integral part of learning about one’s own sexuality to enable and allow orgasm when it’s desired. When an individual notices decreased pleasure with orgasm, or even pain with orgasm, they should have a thorough evaluation by a physician trained in sexual medicine. These symptoms diagnosed and managed with a combination of medical interventions and sex therapy to reconnect to the pleasure in the body.

+ SEXUAL IDENTITY AND EXPRESSION

Everyone has their own story of how and when their sexuality developed, and everyone’s story is valid. Dr. Modjoros embraces sexual diversity and encourages each individual to discover their authentic sexual self and honor it. She can work with you on any direct sexual identity challenges, such as acceptance, disclosure, and internal predjudices. She can also work with you on common relationship issues that most couples experience at some points-- libido mismatch, sexual expression/kink negotiation, trust, communication about pleasure, and sexual empowerment in general. Dr. Modjoros provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore an individual or couple’s stress related to sex, and to bridge their experience to pleasure and peace.